Greg's Corner

Victim was under the spell of romance scammers for years

By Greg Collier

With Valentine’s Day being this week, several media outlets are running stories warning their audiences about romance scams. This is for good reason, as Valentine’s Day is when many people feel their loneliest, and are most vulnerable to these scams. While you might be familiar with the red flags indicating a romance scam, it’s essential to know what steps to take if a loved one, be it a friend or family member, becomes ensnared in one.

Typically, a romance scam is a type of fraud where a scammer creates a fake online persona to establish a romantic relationship with someone, usually through dating websites or social media platforms. Once trust is gained, the scammer often starts asking for money, claiming to be in a financial crisis or needing funds for various reasons. They may fabricate elaborate stories to manipulate their victims into sending them money or personal information. Ultimately, the scammer disappears once they’ve obtained what they wanted, leaving the victim emotionally and financially devastated.

The COVID-19 lockdowns were a heyday for romance scams, with so many people being unable to physically visit their friends and family. This was emotionally damaging to many, but none more so than the elderly. Many family members wouldn’t visit their older relatives due to fear of accidentally infecting them with the virus. With many elderly people being physically isolated from their families, this left many seniors emotionally vulnerable and more susceptible to falling victim to scams.

The circumstances surrounding the COVID-19 lockdowns contributed to the unfortunate case of a 78-year-old Ohio woman falling prey to multiple romance scams. Engaging in online word games, she likely encountered these scammers. Shockingly, one of them impersonated a retired four-star Army General, further highlighting the deceptive tactics used to exploit vulnerable individuals.

Despite her daughter’s concerns and attempts to intervene, the victim remained steadfast in her belief of an ongoing romantic relationship, refusing to acknowledge the deception. Even after the daughter halted payments on checks to unknown individuals from their joint account, the victim insisted on releasing the funds when she visited the bank. Tragically, this persistence led to devastating financial losses, including the forfeiture of a $150,000 inheritance and the necessity of selling her house to prevent foreclosure.

In such a situation, it’s crucial for the family member to approach with empathy and understanding while also taking decisive action to protect their loved one. Here are some steps they could take.

Have an open and non-judgmental conversation with the victim. Express concern for their well-being and explain why their actions are worrying. Provide information about romance scams, including common tactics used by scammers and the warning signs to look out for. Help them understand that they may be manipulated. You may also want to seek assistance from professionals such as financial advisors, therapists, or social workers who have experience dealing with elder financial exploitation and psychological vulnerabilities.

You may also consider taking steps to safeguard the victim’s finances, such as monitoring accounts, freezing assets, or setting up safeguards to prevent further monetary losses. Or, if necessary, consider legal options such as obtaining power of attorney or guardianship to protect the victim’s interests and make decisions on their behalf.

It’s important to approach the situation with patience and persistence, understanding that breaking the hold of a scam can be challenging and may require ongoing support and intervention.